Blog change

I'm thinking about changing the title of the blog but have no idea what to. And I'm kind of sad to see "Little Kob to Be" go. Who knew I could be a digital pack-rat?

We're getting through

I seem to be a little crazy when I have to get up less than an hour after putting Cole to bed. The past two weeks DH has put his foot down about me doing all the work at night while he slept since he's trying to get up at 5 am and put in a ton of hours (he's hourly and wants to take advantage of that)...I was resistant only because I've been terrified of being hit hard with PPD and anxiety since normal depression and anxiety run in my family. I knew I'd resent him sleeping while I took care of the baby and I didn't want to be alone. Yes, I'm psycho it seems.

But two days ago I asked Jeff to be the one to stay up with Cole until he fell asleep, which is anywhere from 9 to 11 depending on Cole's mood. And I just go right to sleep. And guess what? This works for me! I can get up the other times in the night with no problem because that first stretch was a decent one. Fingers are crossed that this continues.

I did it!

Yesterday Cole hit 2 months! And while taking his official picture, he gave me the biggest smile and I caught it on camera! WOOT!

His appointment went well, he's up to 12 lbs 4 oz and 23.5 inches long (75th percentile for both!) I loved hearing "Well, now there's a healthy 2 month old!" haha

He also got his shots, 2 of them to be exact, one in each of his little, chubby thighs. Yes, I cried harder than he did. And an oral vaccine as well. When they told me one of the shots contained like 4 or 5 vaccines in one I said "So, I guess they're trying to make it impossible for anyone to stagger the vaccines. No use in me fighting it, huh?" I wanted to be on an alternate schedule, but I didn't do a ton of research and I never really talked it over with the ped. I've always been pro-vaccine, it's just becoming a parent makes me second guess a lot of things. So it wasn't terribly hard to let go of the alt schedule, but it was hard not to worry afterward.

One of the shots he was supposed to get wasn't in stock, which I was secretly thankful for since it was one more he didn't have to cram into his little body. We have to go back next week and I'm terrified because it's one with the "typical" side effect of a fever. I won't be sleeping that night if that's the case. :-/

But he took the ones from yesterday really well. We had a bottle with us and fed him right after which stopped the crying, then we changed him and he immediately fell asleep. His fussiness was only a little bit increased but by 1 am, he was back to as normal as he could get. And he slept two 3.5 hr stretches! ::sigh:: I love him.

Let's try this again

My blogging goal is to try and post at least once a week. There's so much I already missed posting about, let me see what I can remember...

Breastfeeding
Except for a couple days during the 3rd week, I EBF for the first 5 weeks of Cole's life. Then he hit a growth spurt and while I was already dealing with ridiculous nipple and breast pain, the almost constant demand to feed him did me in. I was at the point of being MAD that my child dare be hungry again. And I realized I couldn't be like that. Add to that a bout of mastitis, and I was through with breastfeeding.

I now pump the majority of Cole's meals. I'm sad to say I can't keep up with his increased intake and some of his bottles are formula, but I'm at least happy the majority of what he takes in is BM.

Sleep
Cole seemed to be headed for STTN around Christmas (2-3 weeks) where he had some nights with 4 to 5 hour stretches...it was bliss! But then he went back to eating every 2 hours and our nights became hell.

It was just a week ago (7 weeks old) that he increased to 3 and 4 hour stretches. What we found with him was that if we fed him a little bit more, say 6 ounces instead of 4.5 or 5, over an hour instead of 20 min, he slept for these longer stretches. While all other things like reading, playing, snuggling, etc. failed, this worked. Thank God!

Milestones
Smiling - Cole had been smiling in his sleep since a couple days after his birth but it wasn't until this past Friday, when he was 8 weeks old exactly, that I witnessed his first social smile. Let me tell you, my DS is an absolute angel, so freaking adorable. He has dimples! I'm even more in love!

Laughing - While I wouldn't consider it a "real" laugh as in a social one, right after his first social smile, Cole fell partially asleep (when he usually does is smiling) and actually giggled after a few closed eye smiles! It was the most heart melting sound, I can't wait to hear it again!

Holding head up - Cole has been a champ at this right from the beginning. We do tummy time on our chests, on his play mat and in his boppy a couple times a day. At around 6 weeks he was also lifting up on his forearms a couple times. He's getting so strong, so fast!

"Talking" - Cole loves to make sounds. When he's really content, he'll just lay there staring at me or Jeff and talk to us.

On top of all these things, Cole loves pushing with his legs, he's stood up a couple times while leaning on our sides on our bed (it was amazing!), he loves looking at so many objects (his favorites are the mirrors and speakers in our living room), and he's playing more and more with his hands and discovering his feet.

Here's a picture I took last week:

I'm sorry, I'm trying!

I really really suck at multi-tasking right now. I'll try harder to post more, but for now here's a story that I posted on the bump and had to share on my blog as well since I think it's hilarious...this proves my lack of ability to multi-task!

The other day I was trying to update my Quick Books for my business and needed the help of customer service. My DS was laying on my chest on the couch, I had my laptop on my lap behind him, my right hand was on the mouse while my left hand was holding his behind. So I put my cell phone on speaker phone and put it in my left hand as well.

Just before the call ended with Joe from customer support, my little guy woke up a bit and let out a very loud poop...right into the phone for Joe to hear. I was so shocked I hung up and didn't finish fixing my problem.

I couldn't stop laughing, this will teach me!

Birth Story - finally!!

I'm finally getting around to posting Cole's birth story. I'm obviously not so good at multi-tasking right now, just focusing fully on Cole and trying to still take care of myself (not easy, I don't even have hunger cues right now in order to remember to eat!)

So from the previous posts it seemed obvious I was heading towards a diagnosis of pre-eclampsia. And Jeff and I were ready to fight with the Doctor when surprise of all surprises, there was protein found in my urine and we were told that we would be kept and I would be induced.

I immediately went down to L&D where I got "comfortable" and was started on Cervidil, which is used to ripen the cervix. I started having small contractions but was not considered to be in active labor until my water broke/was broken or my contractions got really close together and stronger. I hung out with Jeff until we decided to get some sleep after my parents stopped by to check on us. Jeff even placed an order for cigars to celebrate (I wanted to kill him at the time haha).

I was given something to allow me to sleep, as well as I could anyway, and 12 hours later at 6 am the Cervidil was removed (holy hell!) and my water was broken by the doctor (warm!). So contractions immediately started and when I was asked how strong they were, I told them a 4 on a scale of 1 - 10...apparently that was enough for an epidural. I was also 3 cm at this point.

The anesthesiologist came in and what an odd fellow he was. I was the first patient of his that day and he actually apologized for missing a step in the process (which I can't even remember what it was, but Jeff knows...I'll ask when he comes home from work!) Anyway, Jeff couldn't believe it and said he was a bit unprofessional. The epidural wasn't so bad, Jeff held me and I just moaned when it hurt and it was over. Ahh blessed numbness.

I don't feel a thing for a while and just get to sleep a bit and talk with Jeff, my mom and the wonderful L&D nurse. Then all of a sudden I start to feel the contractions a bit. So I hit the epidural button and get brief relief. But the pain comes back a short time later and the button is hit a couple times more before I realize something isn't working. I had hit the max amount the machine would give me and I could start to feel every single contraction. The nurse calls a different anesthesiologist in and she was even weirder than the last one. She also started blaming the previous guy for messing up and I started praying this woman would just shut up and help me.

She then grabs an ice cube and puts it on different parts of my body asking if there's a difference in the coldness at the different locations. There was and she told me the epidural had failed and would need to be put in again. I sit up and get back into position with Jeff, but I look at him and tell him I all of a sudden don't feel well. My blood pressure had still been high during the labor (approx. 150/90) but at this point it dropped to 90/40. My nurse shoved Jeff aside, grabbed me and started yelling orders at him. I just remember having a cold, wet washcloth on my face and neck while she held me for the 2nd epidural. Thank God my back was still numb, I didn't feel a thing. And after that, the contractions went away and I was finally comfortable again.

Poor Jeff was a bit freaked out. The nurse seemed worried too so she checked me saying she hoped there was progress. Well I made it to 6 cm! We all seemed to think this was great news and that we'd be going soon after this. So I fall asleep and Jeff heads out to the waiting room to eat and see his brother and mom. About 3 hours after the 2nd epidural was put in the doctor came in to check on me. Unfortunately, I was still at 6 cm and Cole had decided to stay high, he wasn't dropping at all. The internal was brutal btw! And after that, I started to feel the contractions again!

The doctor comes back after leaving for a couple minutes and says that they've decided to do a C-section. I didn't want one initially but after everything that happened, I was happy to see an end in sight and told him to go for it. They started preparing the OR and it took them about an hour. An hour where my 2nd epidural had apparently also failed and I could feel these horrible contractions in my stomach AND my back. I couldn't believe the intensity, it was excruciating.

When they were ready, they told Jeff to stay in our room until he was asked to come in and I was wheeled into the OR. I was writhing on the bed, begging them to give me something for the pain. They kept telling me they would but it was taking forever, or it seemed like it. They slid me onto the operating table, which was the same freaking width as I am, and strapped down my legs making the contractions even more difficult to deal with (didn't know that was possible!). They then strapped my arms to these wings that came off the table, I felt like I was being crucified!

Finally, I was given a medicine in my epidural and the anesthesiologist was pinching me to determine if it was working. It wasn't, so he kept pumping this stuff into me until I was just completely dead from my chest down. I started getting really cold and shivering. My hands were blocks of ice. My shoulders hurt from my stiffness, I was so stressed I couldn't relax my muscles. Jeff finally came into the OR and told me how mad he was that he was kept from me for so long. And he was so worried that I couldn't stop shaking.

They started the c-section and Jeff was stroking my hair. I kept going in and out of consciousness asking him if Cole was here yet. Then we heard cheers and our son's cries and we both started bawling. Jeff was told to take a picture and when he popped over the curtain, got an eyeful of me MID-OPERATION!!!! He actually took a picture of it, yuck! And I found out at that point that they actually take your uterus as well as some other organs OUT OF YOU! I had no idea! I thought ignorance was bliss but in this case, let me tell you, it was traumatic! I had a mini panic attack after learning this AND realizing I couldn't even move my toes.

Jeff brought Cole over and even after everything, I told Jeff that our son was completely and totally worth it. As I was being closed up, the anesthesiologist kept asking me what I was dealing with and gave me some different medicines to deal with it all, including lovely morphine for the pain. But I didn't get anything for the shakes until about 45 min later in the recovery room, I was kind of pissed about that.

Cole was being checked out in the nursery and Jeff had joined me in the recovery room and then an hour after his birth, Cole was brought into our L&D room (which we got an extra night in because I was on magnesium sulfate to prevent any possible seizures) to nurse because his blood sugar was low. He got to visit with us and his grandparents for a couple minutes afterward before going back to the nursery for a couple hours.

The rest of the stay was a bit depressing for me. After the gorgeous L&D room, we had two nights in this little PP jail cell of a room where you had to pay for tv (we didn't) and Jeff had the most uncomfortable "bed" (they apparently don't expect husbands to stay over and give you a paper to read and sign saying you understood husbands are basically not their problem, NICE) I couldn't sleep, the baby blues were harsh. I had so much anxiety and was so severely worried about SIDS for when we were home, I just laid in bed all night with no rest. And don't get me started on the food! I burst into tears when I saw the menu with the two meal choices. Jeff just laughed and called our parents to bring real food when they visited.

A week after getting out of the hospital, everything felt better. I got through the worst of the baby blues (which isn't easy in December when it gets dark at 4 pm!), I was healing pretty quickly, and Jeff was the best husband and father and we were completely in love with our new addition. Plus, our pup Truffle had gotten used to Cole and started checking on him when he cried.

Cole is a ridiculously good baby. I feel bad whenever I'm frustrated at night cause all babies need to eat often so it makes sense to be up every 1.5 to 2 hours (we got spoiled with 2 nights where he slept for a 4 hour stretch) but overall we're so happy and grateful for him. And Jeff helped with my anxiety over SIDS, he reassures me every night and we sleep as well as could be expected. ;-)

Below are some professional newborn pics we had taken by the wonderful Caitlin Domanico (who also did my maternity pics!)...sorry if I got carried away posting too many, haha!









And our absolute favorite picture...

Cole has arrived!!

Our little guy was born yesterday via c-section, 12.4.09 at 4:27 pm

He's 8 lbs. 3 oz. and 20 in.

I'll try to update soon with his birth story. Until then, here's a pic taken with my Blackberry. I of course wasn't prepared with a connection for my camera to Jeff's laptop and my laptop chose to die the day before Cole's birth.