Birth Story - finally!!

I'm finally getting around to posting Cole's birth story. I'm obviously not so good at multi-tasking right now, just focusing fully on Cole and trying to still take care of myself (not easy, I don't even have hunger cues right now in order to remember to eat!)

So from the previous posts it seemed obvious I was heading towards a diagnosis of pre-eclampsia. And Jeff and I were ready to fight with the Doctor when surprise of all surprises, there was protein found in my urine and we were told that we would be kept and I would be induced.

I immediately went down to L&D where I got "comfortable" and was started on Cervidil, which is used to ripen the cervix. I started having small contractions but was not considered to be in active labor until my water broke/was broken or my contractions got really close together and stronger. I hung out with Jeff until we decided to get some sleep after my parents stopped by to check on us. Jeff even placed an order for cigars to celebrate (I wanted to kill him at the time haha).

I was given something to allow me to sleep, as well as I could anyway, and 12 hours later at 6 am the Cervidil was removed (holy hell!) and my water was broken by the doctor (warm!). So contractions immediately started and when I was asked how strong they were, I told them a 4 on a scale of 1 - 10...apparently that was enough for an epidural. I was also 3 cm at this point.

The anesthesiologist came in and what an odd fellow he was. I was the first patient of his that day and he actually apologized for missing a step in the process (which I can't even remember what it was, but Jeff knows...I'll ask when he comes home from work!) Anyway, Jeff couldn't believe it and said he was a bit unprofessional. The epidural wasn't so bad, Jeff held me and I just moaned when it hurt and it was over. Ahh blessed numbness.

I don't feel a thing for a while and just get to sleep a bit and talk with Jeff, my mom and the wonderful L&D nurse. Then all of a sudden I start to feel the contractions a bit. So I hit the epidural button and get brief relief. But the pain comes back a short time later and the button is hit a couple times more before I realize something isn't working. I had hit the max amount the machine would give me and I could start to feel every single contraction. The nurse calls a different anesthesiologist in and she was even weirder than the last one. She also started blaming the previous guy for messing up and I started praying this woman would just shut up and help me.

She then grabs an ice cube and puts it on different parts of my body asking if there's a difference in the coldness at the different locations. There was and she told me the epidural had failed and would need to be put in again. I sit up and get back into position with Jeff, but I look at him and tell him I all of a sudden don't feel well. My blood pressure had still been high during the labor (approx. 150/90) but at this point it dropped to 90/40. My nurse shoved Jeff aside, grabbed me and started yelling orders at him. I just remember having a cold, wet washcloth on my face and neck while she held me for the 2nd epidural. Thank God my back was still numb, I didn't feel a thing. And after that, the contractions went away and I was finally comfortable again.

Poor Jeff was a bit freaked out. The nurse seemed worried too so she checked me saying she hoped there was progress. Well I made it to 6 cm! We all seemed to think this was great news and that we'd be going soon after this. So I fall asleep and Jeff heads out to the waiting room to eat and see his brother and mom. About 3 hours after the 2nd epidural was put in the doctor came in to check on me. Unfortunately, I was still at 6 cm and Cole had decided to stay high, he wasn't dropping at all. The internal was brutal btw! And after that, I started to feel the contractions again!

The doctor comes back after leaving for a couple minutes and says that they've decided to do a C-section. I didn't want one initially but after everything that happened, I was happy to see an end in sight and told him to go for it. They started preparing the OR and it took them about an hour. An hour where my 2nd epidural had apparently also failed and I could feel these horrible contractions in my stomach AND my back. I couldn't believe the intensity, it was excruciating.

When they were ready, they told Jeff to stay in our room until he was asked to come in and I was wheeled into the OR. I was writhing on the bed, begging them to give me something for the pain. They kept telling me they would but it was taking forever, or it seemed like it. They slid me onto the operating table, which was the same freaking width as I am, and strapped down my legs making the contractions even more difficult to deal with (didn't know that was possible!). They then strapped my arms to these wings that came off the table, I felt like I was being crucified!

Finally, I was given a medicine in my epidural and the anesthesiologist was pinching me to determine if it was working. It wasn't, so he kept pumping this stuff into me until I was just completely dead from my chest down. I started getting really cold and shivering. My hands were blocks of ice. My shoulders hurt from my stiffness, I was so stressed I couldn't relax my muscles. Jeff finally came into the OR and told me how mad he was that he was kept from me for so long. And he was so worried that I couldn't stop shaking.

They started the c-section and Jeff was stroking my hair. I kept going in and out of consciousness asking him if Cole was here yet. Then we heard cheers and our son's cries and we both started bawling. Jeff was told to take a picture and when he popped over the curtain, got an eyeful of me MID-OPERATION!!!! He actually took a picture of it, yuck! And I found out at that point that they actually take your uterus as well as some other organs OUT OF YOU! I had no idea! I thought ignorance was bliss but in this case, let me tell you, it was traumatic! I had a mini panic attack after learning this AND realizing I couldn't even move my toes.

Jeff brought Cole over and even after everything, I told Jeff that our son was completely and totally worth it. As I was being closed up, the anesthesiologist kept asking me what I was dealing with and gave me some different medicines to deal with it all, including lovely morphine for the pain. But I didn't get anything for the shakes until about 45 min later in the recovery room, I was kind of pissed about that.

Cole was being checked out in the nursery and Jeff had joined me in the recovery room and then an hour after his birth, Cole was brought into our L&D room (which we got an extra night in because I was on magnesium sulfate to prevent any possible seizures) to nurse because his blood sugar was low. He got to visit with us and his grandparents for a couple minutes afterward before going back to the nursery for a couple hours.

The rest of the stay was a bit depressing for me. After the gorgeous L&D room, we had two nights in this little PP jail cell of a room where you had to pay for tv (we didn't) and Jeff had the most uncomfortable "bed" (they apparently don't expect husbands to stay over and give you a paper to read and sign saying you understood husbands are basically not their problem, NICE) I couldn't sleep, the baby blues were harsh. I had so much anxiety and was so severely worried about SIDS for when we were home, I just laid in bed all night with no rest. And don't get me started on the food! I burst into tears when I saw the menu with the two meal choices. Jeff just laughed and called our parents to bring real food when they visited.

A week after getting out of the hospital, everything felt better. I got through the worst of the baby blues (which isn't easy in December when it gets dark at 4 pm!), I was healing pretty quickly, and Jeff was the best husband and father and we were completely in love with our new addition. Plus, our pup Truffle had gotten used to Cole and started checking on him when he cried.

Cole is a ridiculously good baby. I feel bad whenever I'm frustrated at night cause all babies need to eat often so it makes sense to be up every 1.5 to 2 hours (we got spoiled with 2 nights where he slept for a 4 hour stretch) but overall we're so happy and grateful for him. And Jeff helped with my anxiety over SIDS, he reassures me every night and we sleep as well as could be expected. ;-)

Below are some professional newborn pics we had taken by the wonderful Caitlin Domanico (who also did my maternity pics!)...sorry if I got carried away posting too many, haha!









And our absolute favorite picture...

Cole has arrived!!

Our little guy was born yesterday via c-section, 12.4.09 at 4:27 pm

He's 8 lbs. 3 oz. and 20 in.

I'll try to update soon with his birth story. Until then, here's a pic taken with my Blackberry. I of course wasn't prepared with a connection for my camera to Jeff's laptop and my laptop chose to die the day before Cole's birth.

Being induced!!

Right at this moment we're in the hospital being induced! Your prayers certainly worked quickly!

We went in for a routine appt, actually ready to argue for my health, and when the Dr. came in he pretty much said we're being induced. Actually it went like this:

Me (to Jeff): I hope he comes in going "Ready to have a baby?"
Jeff: That won't happen.
::Doctor knocks::
Dr: Hello! How are you doing?
Me: Ugh.
Dr: Ugh?
Me: Everything has gotten worse.
Dr: Well I guess we'll have to keep you.
Me: Ok, keep me!
Dr: We are.
Crickets
Me & Jeff: You are?
Dr: Yup, there was protein in your urine so we're keeping you. Be careful what you wish for.
::I burst into tears:: Ok, that's not true, I waited for the Dr. to leave first.

So Cole will most likely be here. I hope via vaginal birth, but we'll see. Keep sending those prayers, we appreciate them so very much!!

See?

This article just proves what I'm feeling!

ETA: Forgot to celebrate full term today! WOOHOO 37w!!!

37w Appt

And it was with the female Dr. of the practice, the one that actually talks to me about what she's thinking.

She again made it clear that she doesn't think I will make it to my due date. I felt like telling her "Well, you don't know my body. It likes to play tricks with me. It will most likely make me suffer and keep all my symptoms just below the threshold of what you all need to approve putting me out of my misery (i.e. inducing me) until I am 1w5d past due, the date you said you would induce me if Cole hasn't decided to show up yet."

I did like that she acknowledged my other symptoms. Basically the other Dr. I have been seeing regularly only sees the HBP, and the possibility of protein in my urine and/or abnormal blood work. He completely ignores the ridiculous swelling, the horrible headaches and now the spots I see in front of my eyes. But this Dr. (I will call her Dr. P) noted down all the other symptoms and kind of groaned when I told her about them.

Oh, and I didn't mention the trip to L&D yesterday since I was worried about an onset of constant pain in my stomach (ALL over it) since Friday morning. I thought I might be in labor, but no, my body is laughing at me and my pain. I can't walk anywhere, I can't get into a position that has the pain at least subsiding enough where I can ignore it (forget the word "comfortable" from now on), I can't focus. But Cole is just fine, thank God.

The Dr. in L&D said there was 1+ protein in my urine and had me do a 24 hour collection. I should know the results by Wednesday at noon. I will be induced (no clue when) if there is protein present in the collection. I was very surprised (and grateful) to hear Dr. P go "I hate to say it, but I wish something would tip the scales so we can get you induced." I almost wanted to cry knowing she at least understood what was going on with me enough to say that. And I admitted to her I felt the same way.

So as much as I hate to hope for something to happen that's dangerous to both myself and Cole, I trust my Doctors and the timing of catching this thing enough to hope there is in fact protein in the urine collection. I hate playing around with our health when there's so much pointing to something being even a little bit wrong. Please pray we'll be welcoming Cole (and my recovering health) very soon.

Sorry for no updates

Things have been busy. I've been back and forth from the Doctors' for almost a week now. Last Wednesday I went in for a regular visit and was found to have high blood pressure (from here on out, referred to as "HBP). There was no protein in my urine but they sent me to L&D (labor & delivery) for blood work and an NST (non-stress test...and these explanations of abbreviations are getting annoying!). Baby Cole is perfect, blood work is "beautiful", but mommy continued to come in and have HBP. I also developed a hideous headache that one Dr. prescribed a migraine level medicine for and guess what? It only partially touches the pain.

I'm also put on modified bed rest and was told they're trying to get me to 37w...which was scary and, I admit, a bit exciting until my last appointment. Here's an update I had sent to a friend in an email: "I went in to the Dr. again today (headache is so much worse) and BP is back up. I had the Dr. I like the least and he pretty much confused me again...he said that something else would have to go "wrong" (higher BP, protein in urine, abnormal blood work) in order to induce me...but I don't know if that means before 37 weeks or at all. I feel like things change from Dr. to Dr. He also said I have to "deal with" my headache until the baby is born.

He did the Strep B thing and an internal, I'm apparently 1 cm dilated (which could mean nothing) but he said it was "Good for a first time mom" UGH!"

So this is where I am right now. Trying to stay calm for Cole's and my own sake, but ridiculously frustrated that one Dr. made it seem like I would be induced around 37w in order to help with my severe pain but another doesn't think it's a good enough reason to induce me.

I'm going in tomorrow for another BP check...it sucks to say this but I hope I'm either fine or something has happened to convince them to "help" me next week because this limbo is frustrating and painful. I keep praying to go into labor so they don't have to do anything.

In happier news, I had my shower this past Saturday. Sure I was drugged and out of it with pain, but I couldn't have had a better time. My family and friends are the absolute best! You should see what they got Cole, he's one lucky little boy! :-)

It's my 35/35!!!

Wow, I'm actually 35 weeks and 35 days from my DD! I was looking forward to today all last week and I almost forgot...it took my ticker to remind me!

Things are definitely uncomfortable right now, incredibly so. And they feel different. I wonder just how much longer I have.

If there's anything to having a pregnancy similar to your mother's, then Cole will be making an early entrance. This is how it went with all her kids, in order of oldest to youngest:

Kathy: 2 Weeks early (38w)
Willy: 3 Weeks early (37w)
Kenny: 8 Weeks early (32w)
Me: 4 Weeks early (36w)

I guess we'll just wait and see!

Forgot to update on Cole

I went for my 33w appt. last Wednesday and initially had a high bp reading. They had me lie on my side after my appt. and when they took it again, it was back to normal. My doc didn't seem to like the high reading though and I'm now down to weekly visits. I'm not too thrilled with that but oh well, better safe than sorry.

Our Dr. also reviewed the u/s, said Cole was in the 72 percentile and everything is in the right place. I asked him if there was a limit to the size they would allow me to go over term with and he said no. He must've seen the fear on my face because he started explaining how I had a certain percentage chance of having a c-section no matter what and even though he thinks I will deliver vaginally, it might not be in the cards for me anyway. He also said the u/s could be off by 2 lbs. either way. After a friend of mine delivered an 8 lbs. baby girl this past Tuesday (when she was supposed to be 6 lbs.) I decided to stop worrying.

I also learned this week that my dad is calling a Thanksgiving baby. I think I turned white after hearing that haha!

Update to the last two posts

So I told Jeff that I don't think there's any way I'll be surprised for my shower. I didn't peek or anything (I designed an invite w/o the info and dh filled them in and printed them for my mom)...but I'm pretty sure I know the general time and I know the place. My mom isn't good at keeping info to herself (sorry, mom!)

We spoke about having it at her house cause I didn't want a ton of money spent on the location. And after announcing the pregnancy to my Godmother, she insisted she be here for the shower. She's coming up for Thanksgiving... ;-)

So dh responds to me that he'll just have to blind fold me for the same amount of time I'm wearing my lovely shower top. Mom jumped on that real quick going "That's a great idea! We need to trick her!" This month is going to be interesting!

As for my maternity pics, I received the CD from Caitlin and wanted to post a few more on here...yeah I can be a bit of an AW, but I LOVE them!

My shower

My mom bought me a top that she wants me to wear for my shower. My surprise shower. So when I asked her how I'm supposed to know when to dress in the top for the shower she said "Well, you can wear it for Thanksgiving. And every day, every weekend afterward. Just in case." That shirt won't make it to the New Year ;-)

My maternity pics are sick!

They were done by Caitlin Domanico, the #1 family photographer in Southeast Pennsylvania. Caitlin is a friend of mine but I can see her being just as relaxed and fun with any one of her clients.

Check out the preview of my maternity pics here, I'm so in love with them!

Surprise u/s!

At my 31w appointment, I met with the only female doctor in the practice and she mentioned that I was supposed to have had a follow up u/s after my 19w one because they didn't get super great pics of Cole's spine. She had no idea why I wasn't told by the male doctors but wrote me a script for another u/s. I was stoked!

DH and I set it up for 2 days later and got to see DS again. She got a really good shot of his face and mentioned he had "pouty lips"...I was like "Awww he has my mouth!" but we'll see for sure when he's born. I can't wait!

Cole is also still measuring 2 weeks ahead so the u/s tech said to not be surprised if he comes on Dec. 10th. We're keeping our fingers crossed that that's the case and he's a 2009 baby.

All work and no play...

This weekend was a killer but we got some huge projects done and I am thrilled. We took two big dressers in our bedroom that we have been dying to re-do (and sometimes dying to just trash) and re-finished them from a very light beige color to a dark mocha with a hint of gray color. There's still a few touches and a set of shelves which we also re-did to set up, and then I'll take some pics of our master bedroom to show off.

We also picked up Cole's dresser and put up his name! The dresser is from the same line as the crib but in white just like the one in my inspiration picture. I'll have pictures of it in the nursery later (since it's currently sitting in our living room after I finished installing the drawers and doors this morning).

As for Cole's name, I initially wanted to do the ribbon deal that a lot of moms-to-be are doing but something else popped into my head. Instead I wanted it to look like a 3D picture on the wall. We painted a white rectangle and glued the letters that I had spent a couple hours covering with pretty designed paper into the middle. Then dh was wonderful at measuring out some molding, painting it black and then gluing that to frame the rectangle. Since my camera decided to die at the exact moment I wanted to take pictures, here's some low resolution ones from my Blackberry.

Needles, needles everywhere

I got both my regular flu shot and the Rhogam shot today. I had read one post (on the 3rd tri Bump board) where the woman said the Rhogam shot is given in the ass. With a larger than normal needle.

Seriously, preconceived notions are what get people in trouble. I was nervous for the Rhogam shot thinking it's going to hurt like hell. Well I breezed through the flu shot and then breezed through the Rhogam shot. Sure, I didn't like the part where my ass is hanging out for this nurse to poke, but not so bad all around.

Two things

My life is a sitcom! We finally got around to watching last week's The Big Bang Theory, which we really relate to, huge dorks. And they actually had a cricket chirping in their apartment building which they went to search for. When that thing started chirping, dh and I were frozen for a second before we bent over laughing.

Second, last night I had a crazy scary dream and asked dh to hold me. I feel him poke me in the butt and he mumbles "No, I don't want to hurt the baby, turn around." I start shaking with laughter and go "I AM turned around, that's my butt!" His response? "This is going in your blog, isn't it?" LMAO!

No GD for me!

I called 2 days after my blood test because I was told I would have to come in on Friday (yesterday) for my Rhogam shot. I set up an appointment for the shot and then was told that my glucose levels were "very good", I'm so relieved!

For the record, I didn't find the drink for the test to be bad at all, actually I considered it delicious and downed it pretty quickly. Yes, Cole, mommy is a freak.

"Babe, you're a sitcom"...

My dh has been away all week for work and I hate being by myself, it scares the crap out of me. The anxiety during pregnancy is ten times worse then my normal level, and that's saying something!

So the other night I'm pretty much not sleeping just tossing and turning when, miracle of all miracles, I fall asleep! I wake up some unknown time later to an unrecognizable sound. At first it's integrated into my dream (I'm a huge dork and was dreaming about fixing up the website for my business...whenever I used the menu on the site, the sound would happen) until I realized the sound was actually not in sync with my dream. So I wake up a little more and check my alarm. Nope, not that. I wake up fully and it dawns on me that the sound is in fact a cricket. A LOUD cricket in my freaking room. A little cricket I'm terrified will jump in my mouth as I sleep.

So I get up and try to figure out where the cricket is and hear it coming from the direction of my closet. I stare horrified at my closet for what seemed like hours wondering how the hell I'm going to find this thing in my ridiculously disorganized closet. I look down at that moment and see the cricket is actually right outside the doors.

I'm sure you can imagine the rest: 6 month pregnant lady chasing around a little cricket at 4 am trying to get him to hop out the window because she doesn't want to kill the poor thing.

After telling dh about how scared I am at night and then mentioning the cricket, his response (while cracking up) was "Babe, you're a sitcom, not a horror movie." Umm thanks?

Back from Babymoon

Well, I've been home for a couple days now. I almost posted a big ol' vent yesterday but decided against it and Thank God. I calmed down and realized that, even though it was justified, I need to keep some things between myself and dh. It was about his employers, not dh himself for the record.

Our babymoon was also our 2nd anniversary trip. We got lucky the first two days down in Ocean City, MD and were able to lounge on the beach. I fell asleep the first day and dh said it was the first time he was able to watch Cole bounce around w/o my being aware of it. The second half of the week, dh's parents came down (it's their house) so we got to hang with them, but they brought the rain with them so the beach was out of the question.

It was a much needed break. Here's some pics!

Our 2nd Anniversary - 9.22.09
27w0d

Shirt says: "Ocean City, Maryland '09 EST 2007" 2nd anniversary = cloth, so we got shirts made to remember the trip.

Ahh alien baby!

Cole has been at it all.freaking.day. I get kicked, he rolls around (which is a lot more pronounced than it used to be!), and I think he might have had hiccups! My belly has not been still the whole day. Too funny.

Holy crap! 99 days to go!

I knew it was coming soon but completely forgot that today was our "Down-to-double-digits Day"!!

Side note: Why did "99 Bottle of Beer" start going through my head as I type this? What a weirdo.

Pain, lots of pain

Wednesday was my 25w appt and I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary. I had experienced 4 random and severely painful moments within the past 2 weeks and when I had looked up a possible cause called Round Ligament Pain (or RLP), I became convinced this was it, no big deal. I mean, if it feels like someone was ripping something from my body, that I become incapacitated for the duration of the agony I was going through, well that's gotta be normal, right? Who cares if it lasts about 5 to 10 minutes instead of a few seconds like it's described at babycenter.com:

Round ligament pain generally refers to a brief, sharp, stabbing pain or a longer-lasting dull ache that pregnant women commonly feel in the lower abdomen or groin, starting in the second trimester.

Well I tell the Dr. that I assumed it was RLP, showed him where it was and was informed that it was actually most likely a hernia. When he checks to make sure he's right, he says that it seems I haven't fully developed one yet but was probably in the middle of developing one. Hmmm, that would explain the ripping feeling.

So of course I head home and start researching hernias during pregnancy and just freak myself out with the information. The Dr. I had seen was not my regular one from the practice (I'm trying to see all of them if possible before delivery since I don't know who I will be stuck with) and I called the one I regularly see to ask his opinion. He said from the description over the phone, it sounds like either a hernia or RLP but he'd have to see me in person. So I'm waiting until the 30th to get this figured out (which will also be my GD test, YAY).

Either way, I'm told I have to deal with the pain. I've read there's definitely cases where women have surgery before their baby is born, but this is when the intestine gets strangled and has the possibility of dying from lack of blood flow (sounds fun). Most likely I will wait until the baby is born and be reassessed. And if it's RLP, then I will be writing to babycenter.com to have them update their page to inform women of just how bad it can be.

I've also decided driving is probably not a good idea since I'm a spaz and immediately clench up whenever the pain attacks me. DH agrees, so he's having fun being chauffeur. Good thing I work from home.

Nursery set up has begun!

We spent all of labor day weekend laboring (that's a word, right?) We fixed some cracks in the wall, painted the wall, the ceiling, some shelves and the blades of the fan, and I built the crib all by myself!

Here's some pics!

24 Weeks - Happy V-day Cole!

At 24 weeks gestation, if I were to go into labor early (::KNOCK ON WOOD::), Cole is now considered viable and the doctors will do whatever they can to save him. Jeff and I are celebrating Cole's Viability Day tonight! :-)

Crib is ordered!

My parents had offered to buy us a crib which is a wonderful help for us and here's the one we settled on:I love it because of both the drawer and the included toddler bed rails.

It actually arrived the other day from Walmart, but the box was so banged up my parents sent it back and asked for a replacement. So that should be coming in any day now.

We've also almost completely cleared out the nursery and bought the paint, things are finally getting going!

I also found these awesome decals for the walls on etsy.com:All I really need right now are the letters for his name so I can paint on them and the rest of the furniture moved in and we'll be pretty much done. Except for essentials like clothes and stuff. Oh and a closet for them to go in...yeah, forgot about that. Ok, back to planning!

It's hard to hate the stretch marks

I just can't do it. I have major ones on either side of my belly button and I don't mind them because they're from our little boy growing. I've always been prone to them and they've never really bothered me, so why start now?

My scanner isn't working with me, so I took a pic of the BIG u/s. Here's Cole!

So far, so good

I just got back from my OB appt and Dr. Jacobson decided that we should keep our current due date. He said my uterus is measuring fine and that "the baby will come when he wants to come". So 12/22 it is!

Everything else looks good, he just told me to start being careful with my weight because it could lead to all the bad stuff. My goal for the next 4 weeks before the next appt is to workout at least 3 times a week. I've been so tired the whole pregnancy, but that's no excuse so IT'S ON!

I'm feeling very good right now and just so excited! :-)

Oh Boy!

Last night dh was talking to Cole and he goes,

"I'm going to teach you how to throw a baseball....

...through a window."

When I realized what he said, I couldn't stop laughing. Maybe I should teach Cole how to throw a baseball...

Our baby boy's name

So like I said, his name will be Cole Jeffrey. Now I thought it would be pretty obvious where the name came from but it seems the majority of people don't get it and ask me how/why we came up with it.

Cole will be named after myself and Jeff. Cole used to be my nickname in high school and I had this idea one day that it would be cool to continue my dad's tradition of naming an opposite sex child after myself. So while my dad is Nicholas Jr., I am Nicole and now my son will be Cole. Jeff didn't want to use his name for a first name so we decided it would be the perfect middle name. Therefore, Cole Jeffrey K. :-)

Little Kob is a....

BOY!!!! Mmm mmm blue icing! His name is Cole Jeffrey!

My friend took a video of the reveal but until I can acquire that, here's some more pictures!

Another milestone! - 19w2d

I wanted to make this it's own little post. This morning at 6 am, our LO was wide awake and kicking me right under the belly button. The milestone is it was the first time I could feel it with my hand!!!

It was the slightest tap on my hand and DH couldn't feel it unfortunately, but I'll never forget it!

Everything but the sex

Ok, that title looks worse then I intended haha

We now have the gender in an envelope and plan to follow through with the cake idea (as much as I tried to tempt Jeff to open it). I'm dying...I'm by myself at home and trying to stay away from it!

The u/s was unbelievable. Our LO couldn't stop moving around. We also saw him/her sucking in some of the amniotic fluid (which we have a picture of! Will post later!) I *think* the profile is Jeff's but we'll just have to see when he/she is born. The tech wanted the baby to flip onto his/her stomach and after a couple minutes not only did he/she flip to the stomach, he/she flipped in the opposite direction as well!

Heartbeat was 146 bpm and surprisingly the baby is measuring 12 days ahead! Not sure if this is a growth spurt that will be more on track later or if this a big baby! I'm a little freaked. If the OB thinks it's a good idea, my new due date would be 12/10/09!

One thing that I haven't forgotten from the u/s was when the tech "slipped" and said "It's a little difficult, he loves going under your belly button." (So most of you and I might just be wrong!!) Jeff didn't even notice but I was like "AHA!" So now I'm wondering if she even knew at that point or just accidentally picked a gender to reference...we'll see tonight!

So here's the plan

As you can see, we have 2 days left until the big u/s! The plan right now is to have the tech put the sex into an envelope and try to keep the sex a secret from us during the u/s.

Then our wonderful friend Sheila will be coming over on Thursday and icing a two layer cake that I will bake that morning. We have blue and pink icing for in between the layers and white for the outside.

Ok, I just sat here for ten minutes staring at the screen and thinking about cream cheese icing. ::drooling::

Sheila and her husband, Shannon, will stay for the big reveal when our families will come over later in the evening and we'll cut the cake!

We are so so sooooooo excited!! :-)

I'm bad :-(

I haven't taken one bump picture, not even ONE! I hide when someone else whips out a camera cause while I feel good in front of a mirror, pictures are a completely different story.

I do have a picture from our friends' wedding two weeks ago where I'm patting the belly but I don't think I look particularly pregnant...here it is!

No babies were harmed in the taking of this picture.

I will make an effort to start getting the bump pictures in order...especially cause I'm seeing so much of a difference from week to week. Stay tuned!

Our Sweet Potato - 18w1d

thebump.com
Your fetus has become amazingly mobile (at least compared to you), passing the hours yawning, hiccuping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking and swallowing. And, baby's finally big enough that you'll be able to feel those movements soon.

fitpregnancy.com
Your baby is about 5 to 5 1/2 inches long from top to tail and weighs a little more than five ounces, about the size of a lobster tail. While in earlier weeks, your baby may have been able to sense sound with her primitive ear structures, this week, the bones of the ear become fully formed along with the part of her brain that processes signals from his ears. There's still plenty of room in your uterus, so your fetus can be quite active with her new muscles. She may change positions frequently, cross her legs, recline, suck her thumb, and turn somersaults. Her retinas have become light sensitive, and your baby may be able to detect a glow if you shine bright lights at your belly (even though her eyelids are sealed).

UGH - NBR

It's hard not to care what people think of you. It's very hard when the opinion isn't deserved. But people will be gossipy and judgmental by nature and there's nothing you can do about it. Because arguing will only cement their opinion even more.

It's definitely one of the happiest times in my life but there's a certain recent situation that I occasionally get reminded of, and it dampens the mood a bit. But I've been screwed around with so many times in my life that I'm used to shutting the door on relationships I thought were important. Because life is too short to spend it on people who are selfish assholes that just assume the worst in people rather then looking for the best. I choose not to put up with that and fortunately for me, my dh is beginning to see the truth of my logic.

He's so unhappy with the situation, and so angry, I'm surprised he hasn't blown up. He's ready for a confrontation if it happens but he's just as happy to permanently cut off the relationship without any discussion which is just not his style. But it makes me happy that I have this one most important person in my life and that he understands me, knows me, and could never assume the worst of me. He could never intentionally hurt me.

So this is for a new beginning. I guess I can say I'm strong for having to do this once again in my life. And I'm hoping to be strong the next time it happens, because unfortunately I don't have much faith it won't. But I'm still grateful for the life I have, for the people that haven't and, I know will not, disappoint me. I thank God for my blessings and have always only wished happiness on the people who surround me, past and present.

Oh pregnancy brain

Who knew pregnancy brain would be so darn messy?

While preparing my morning coffee mug (I put the splenda in first), I walked over to the keurig, loaded in the k-cup and proceeded to press the 10 ounce button. Coffee starts pouring out and where do I realize the mug is? On the other side of the kitchen!

Mmm coffee from the counter and floor, yummy!

Finally, some baby stuff!

I mentioned the presents my mom and MIL got me for Mother's Day but I never got around to posting them. Well here they are!


My MIL went up to Penn State for a weekend and got me the adorable t-shirt, rattle, and frame.

My mom got me this ridiculously cute note set. She didn't want to jinx anything by getting something for the baby just yet...I wonder where I get it from!

I did however buy a diaper bag. Actually, truth be told, I saw it on sale at a Fossil Outlet (which, btw, I'm obsessed with Fossil so don't be surprised if most of my bags, wallets, watches, eye glasses, etc come from there) in September 2008. Yeah, I wasn't even pregnant yet! But I knew what I wanted the nursery to look like and that I wanted a Fossil bag as my diaper bag and, well, this was perfect!

It's a roomy black canvas tote with 6 outside pockets all the way around and 3 pockets inside. The inside is green and white and matches the nursery perfectly. There's also a strap for the shoulder!


Father's Day came along and I was already calling that we were having a girl (I don't know why, I'm just stuck on that thought) so I bought the Daddy-to-be a bunch of onesies, one of which says "I love my Daddy" Awww!

Now is it awful that both Jeff and I said (at separate times!) that if we have a boy he's def wearing the "I'm a princess everyday" onesie? Oh we're cruel! ;-)


Last but not least, I found my stork!! If you look at the picture of the nursery we like, there's a stork standing on a block in one corner of the room. This one will be painted white and will have a little fabric hammock hanging from it's mouth. I'm so excited!

Our Lemon - 14w3d

theknot.com
Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

fitpregnancy.com
By weeks 14-17, your baby's bone marrow is producing blood cells; his liver is secreting bile; his pancreas is producing insulin; and he will be covered in a layer of downy hair called lanugo. Around week 16, you may get your first ultrasound, but don't count on learning your baby's sex quite yet. Between weeks 14 and 18, you can opt to have a Quad Screen or amniocentesis, tests that can detect a neural-tube defect, such as spina bifida, Down syndrome or other genetic disorders. Discuss these tests with your doctor to help you decide.

Big u/s is scheduled!!

We find out if Little Kob is a boy or a girl on July 29th! Get your votes in on the right!

Our Peach - 13w5d

thebump.com:
Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords... savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. (Much more convenient.)

fitpregnancy.com:
Your baby is 2 1/2 to 3 inches long, the size of a medium goldfish. She weighs about one ounce. Your baby is shorter than a finger, but her face is already showing individual features and characteristics! Her ears are now developed enough that she may be able to hear when you sing, hum, or talk. And her vocal cords will form this week—soon she'll be able to sing back. Your baby spends her time in your womb flexing her new and developing muscles and joints. Bouts of prenatal hiccups are strengthening your baby's diaphragm, which is preparing her respiratory system for breathing. Less glamorous but highly necessary organ systems for making hormones, absorbing nutrients, and filtering waste are also in place this week. The pancreas, gall bladder, and thyroid have developed, the kidneys can make urine, and her bone marrow is making white blood cells to help fight infection after she's born.

HEARTBEAT!!!!!!!!!

We went in for our 2nd OB appointment today and were pleasantly surprised that we would be hearing our baby's hb. Of course, as soon as I realized it, I got a little nervous that we wouldn't have one to hear. But I was so happy when Little Kob's hb immediately came over the speaker.

We also received a script and referral for the BIG u/s. I will be making the appointment tomorrow for anywhere between August 1st and August 15th. We couldn't be more excited!

Our Plum - 12w1d

thebump.com
As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed.

fitpregnancy.com
Your baby's crown-to-rump height is 2 1/2 inches, or about as tall as a squash ball. She may weigh as much as half an ounce. This begins the age when the fetus starts to look really cut in those womb pictures. If you had a womb camera, you'd be able to see your baby's proportions changing, with the growth of the head slowing down to let the rest of the body catch up. Arms, legs, and fingers are also growing out and tapering to look more like a newborn's, and your baby's posture becomes less curled and more upright. Isn't it amazing that every person in the world was once the size of your thumb? And for that matter, for every person alive, some woman went through a pregnancy?

My life is crazy

I can't even update this blog and my company blog I'm so busy. Last week Jeff and I went through the process of deciding if it was worth it to put a ton of money into his 95 Honda Civic that had a ton of problems big and small.

Finally, we went with getting a new (used) car. It's wonderful having a working speedometer and a/c, let me tell you. Plus, it looks so professional! It's a 2007 Ford Edge in gun metal grey. Beautiful!


Pregnancy-wise, I can't believe I'm 12 weeks! Almost out of the first trimester! Things are getting bigger, and I'm getting uncomfortable. Probably time to start prenatal yoga!

I took off my wedding ring

I'm so sad right now. I took off my engagement ring about a month ago and now my wedding ring has gone too. With the heat, I was just paranoid that I'd wake up one day and not be able to get my ring off. So now it's safely tucked away with my engagement ring.

I am now wearing a beautiful diamond and sapphire ring Jeff bought me last summer as a temporary replacement both so I don't feel like my finger is naked and so I don't look like an unwed mother-to-be (nothing wrong with that of course, but I'm married and like showing it off!)

Man, sentimentality gets worse with pregnancy!

Our Prune - 10w0d

thebump.com:
With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)

fitpregnancy.com:
Your baby is about 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 inches long and weighs about a third of an ounce, the size of a peanut. This is a big week for your baby's growth—she'll double in height. At the end of the week, her head and body will be roughly equal in length. This week also starts an active phase for her - she can turn somersaults, roll over, flex her fingers, hiccup, and stretch. You won't be able to feel her movement for another month and a half. She's floating in lots of amniotic fluid. Her limbs are developing from webbed paddles into arms and legs that have well-defined fingers and toes. Fingernails, toenails, and hair follicles are also beginning to form. Your baby's testes or ovaries have developed, though the sex probably won't be visible on a sonogram for at least another month. Intestines have developed at the place where the umbilical cord meets your baby's body. The intestines are now able to make constricting movements, though there won't be anything to digest until later.